i arrive, sweat-drenched and exhausted but triumphant, at the apex of the mountain pass on the afghanistan-pakistan border, ready for some man-on-the-street interviews. i set up by the roadside and unpack my sat phone, diligently turning the transceiver's antenna so it has the best exposure to the southern sky, and dial my editor. my expression sours as my mood is punctured and i yell into the handset:

"what the hell do you mean it's not khyber monday???"

@triz my lawyer said "what's a mastodon" and "please leave this is my private residence"

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Radical Town

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