Sticky toot
TJ Muessig boosted

Going through one of those full body scanners at the airport and asking for a copy of all the revealing pictures they take so I can always have ready, at a moments notice, photographic evidence that my dick and balls are safe and secure.

The cool thing about my life is how 75% of the other people in it seem to have nothing better to do every day than try to find ways to shit all over my mood. Literally just call me up to ruin my day. Thanks. Great.

TJ Muessig boosted

Making a D&D character named Jorogan who's a low-INT, low-WIS, low-CHA fighter that still somehow managed to become the kingdom's most popular town crier.

Psh. Those crazy teens on TikTok have no idea what they're doing. I dip my balls in soy sauce all the time, but for REAL, PHILOSOPHICAL reasons.

TJ Muessig boosted

Starting a new Twitch channel where I stream nothing but reruns of Night Court

Just now receiving word that Mastodon's own Garfield has reached an agreement with the Lasagna Cat youtube channel to produce new content for HBO. Stay tuned for updates about this new "Garfield Cinematic Universe"

Quitting my job so I can devote more time to streaming my speedrun attempts at Barkley: Shut Up and Jam Gaiden

Hey remember that one Crystal Method music video where the guy's head was entirely one big nose? You won't BELIEVE what he looks like now! Doctors hate him! Click here t

Sitting in my "thinking chair" and smoking my "thinking pipe" while musing over the concept of "The Trill Grandma."

TJ Muessig boosted

I'm thinking about how after Trump got elected we were all told we would see a flourishing of art under this newfound cultural conservative duress, and yet every single piece of "resistance" media has been just the most embarrassing shit.

The Joker is just a highly advanced juggalo

Good to know that Mr. Peanut is rotting in hell as we speak.

TJ Muessig boosted

On the term "zoomer" 

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.