i shouldn’t feel this skin-hungry, not after the time i just had, but i’m in my own bed now and i’m blanketed by the memory of being trapped with someone who wouldn’t touch me, feeling like it was my fault, becoming an enemy to my own body and losing myself to this deep hatred and understanding that i wasn’t enough and not being able to leave because they needed me so badly, needed me to care for them.
i feel drained maybe by the comparison, paralyzed with fear at the thought of giving some part of myself over again
i know i have no real reason to be like this, everyone’s got trauma, but i’m so...worthless? i don’t know. i feel toxic and disgusting and i want to crawl out of my skin. i just keep thinking about my ex, about how things could have been if i had done more and i feel like a coward but being with someone who wouldn’t touch me broke my heart
good news: saw my man again tonight and we had a wonderful third date. i was too nervous to take pics but i ordered octopus and it came out over-brined and overcooked and i was sad so he told me to send it back and get something else and i was like won’t i look like an ass? and he was all if i were the chef (he is one at a different place) id want to know, besides you should eat something that makes you happy. and he handled the whole thing so smoothly and it was perfect and then we had sex again and it was so. so. so. good. and i really really like him a lot and he makes my heart beat so fast i feel like i can’t breathe
bad news: i can never see him again because i’m a horrible creature who ruins everything and i will eventually pick this apart so it’s better that things stop now before everything gets messy lol
i met a guy at a bar who i had seen around and there was some str8 drama that we were both just agape at so we started talking and judging, as you do, then i bought him a drink and he bought me one and long story short i went back to his place because mine has a very intrusive small dog and we fucked a LOT. like, a lot a lot cause he’s super toppish and dominating but kinda shy and sweet!! and when i asked him if he liked to receive as well as pitch he looked so excited bless him!!!! the sex was good and his strap game is amazing and i love that he’s shorter than me but super thick and muscular? i asked if he thought my heels were intimidating and he said he thought they were sexy and i melted immediately
anywhoooo we are gonna have a date on sunday (tomorrow) and i’m........really excited
HRT doesn’t have to always be about “switching” your place in a gender binary. It can literally just be a way to change your body as you see fit, it really shouldn’t be inherently gendered.
so glad i’m workin in a place filled with queers, i feel so good about being kind to them.
18+, juicy. assume that i hate you, don't call me a girl.
A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.