Stanley Cool Bricks @steviemcfly@radical.town

My mom is in town, so I went with her to my grandparents' house, and when I said I wasn't staying the night there because I desperately need to do laundry tomorrow, my uncle insisted several times that it was because I wanted "to get in that warm stuff"

I was once a child

I saw this beanie baby at my grandma's house and this website has broken my brain

The squatters put up the dumbest we-live-in-a-society-ass graffiti on the door after management came to lock them out of the apartment they had broken into again but still don't have squatters' rights over

🎵 Well, the years start cumming and they don't stop cumming
Fed to the rules and you hit the ground cumming
Didn't make sense not to live for cum
Your brain gets smart but your head gets cum 🎵

In middle school, my mom bought me a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition daily calendar and in hindsight, that is by far her most baffling parenting choice

A guest just called down asking for smaller, thinner pillows, like we have a bunch of different types of pillows hanging around in the basement just in case

Guests calling to ask if we have luggage storage for after you check out always give their entire life stories. Like, "Hey, we're staying there in a couple of months, and we'll be arriving at 4:27 PM, and then we're going to dinner, and we'll sleep until about 9 AM, and we'll check out at the regular time, and we're gonna go to Queens to hang out with some friends from college and my wife's sister, so we were wondering, can we store our bags for the day?"

🎵 Hey now
You're a hey now
Get you're hey now
Hey, now 🎵

I can't believe they put the Joker in Super Smash Bros and his final smash is slamming a pencil through Yoshi's eyeball

One time I was getting on the L train at Lorimer, and an old black lady in a fuckin baboushka scarf, probably about 80 years old, got off the train, chugged the rest of her Coors Light tallboy, and slammed it on the platform like she'd just scored a touchdown

I once heard a man yell, "Shut the fuck off!" at someone on the G train and I loved it

🎵 Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Does whatever a Spider-Man
Spins a web, Spider-Man
Catches thieves, Spider-Man
Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man! 🎵

I wish I knew a language other than English fluently rather than things like all of the lyrics to MMMBop by Hanson, a song I haven't heard in 15-20 years

Junior year, I was supposed to go with my girlfriend at the time to play laser tag in formalwear but she broke up with me a week or two before prom and my friends made me go

Yeah! by Usher ft. Lil Jon and Ludacris is *the* prom song of the mid-2000s