who's interested in a thread about my wildest interactions in fast food so far

tales from taco bell 1/? 

me: Hi welcome to Taco Bell what can I get for you today? c:

guy at the drive thru: Hey yeah I'd like to get one cheesy gordita crunch but can I get that without mayo?

me: ...Yeah I can do that for you, it comes with spicy ranch though, are you ok with that?

guy: Yeah spicy ranch is perfectly fine! I just make *sure* there's no mayo.

me: You got it. Anything else?

guy: Nope!

me: Aaaalright I'll have your total at the window.

Show thread

tales from taco bell 2/? 

[the new girl at front counter calls me over from drive thru to deal with an angry customer for not accepting a coupon, I walk over to ask him what's wrong, he hands me a coupon for a free sandwich at Arby's]

me: I'm sorry sir I can't accept this, this is a coupon for Arby's.

him: Why NOT!?

me: This is a Taco Bell, we aren't affiliated with Arby's.

him: [a long pause] I suppose it is. [he walks away]

Show thread

tales from taco bell 3/? 

[a guy pulls up to the speaker, 50 minutes after we've closed the store]
the overly polite robotic feminine voice: Thank you for your visit, but we are currently closed! Please visit us again during our normal business hours.

a man, bellowing: SSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTT!!!

my boss over the intercom, matching volume: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[the man immediately drives off]

Show thread

tales from taco bell 4/? 

me @ my boss: I'm gonna use the word "tubular" at least once today.

my boss: Good luck with that.

[later in the day]

me, finishing taking an order: Will that be all tonight?

guy in drive thru: Yea.

me: Tuuuubular. I'll have your total at the window.

guy: *Gnarly,* I'll see ya there.

the rest of the order took place entirely in surfer dude voice

Show thread

tales from taco bell 5/? 

me: Hi what can I get for you today?

a high pitched voice from the passenger side: I'll have the chalupa craving's box and can I have the taco in that fresco style?

me: Sure, what to drink with that?

passenger: A diet please. [slightly lower volume] What are you getting?

driver, who sounds like male Commander Shepard: I'll get a chalupa craving's box. And a baja blast. Large.

passenger: --Chad, you don't need a large.

Chad, continuing: And can you make that taco a Doritos Locos?

me: Absolutely. Anything else?

Chad: Yeah. Can I get 4 Doritos Locos Tacos?

passenger, basically squeaking in the background: *CHAD!* You don't need *FIVE* TACOS!

me: Ok does everything on the screen look correct?

Chad: Actually, can I get 3 of those to be firey?

passenger: CHAD! YOU DON'T NEED THAT MUCH, CHAD!

me: Yeah. Does your screen look correct?

passenger: CHAD! That's TOO MUCH CHAD! *CHAD!*

Chad, with somber confidence: Yes.

Show thread

tales from taco bell 6/? 

me, talking over the intercom: Hi, what can I get for ya?

Customer: Oh I don't HECKING *KNOW.* (sniff) Gimme a minute.

me @ my boss: Either this person is very drunk or very online.

my boss: What, you mean like, on their phone?

me: No, like, y'know what it's better I not explain it.

Show thread
Follow

tales from taco bell 7/? 

Customer: Oh mighty taco gods, may I please have two beefy Frito burritos?

Me: [summoning my booming inner god] Granted. What else do you desire, my child?

Passengers: [stifling laughter]

Customer: Uh, yeah, 2 medium baja blasts and a Dr. Pepper

Me: Denied. The taco gods will not grant Dr. Pepper for the machines lie fallow, but you may take a root beer or cherry pepsi instead.

Customer: We'll do a cherry pepsi.

Me: I shall accept your offerings of coin at the window.

tales from taco bell 8/? 

Me, holding up fingers, reading the screen over and over again: "spicy tostada
beefy frito burrito
medium baja"

coworker: ... Are you ok?

Me, suddenly snapping at them: It's a haiku!

coworker, after a pause: Right.

Show thread

tales from taco bell 9/? 

Me: Hi welcome to taco bell what can I get ya tonight?

Customer: yeah can I get 3 tacos?

Me: Sure, crunchy?

Customer: uhhh... yeah. And can I get those with just cheese? ... ... ... ... and lettuce?

Me: So just, regular tacos?

Customer: ... ... ... Yee.

Me: Will that be all tonight?

Customer: Yeah.

Show thread

"(long pause) and lettuce" is my favorite in joke now besides *CHAAAD*

Show thread

tales from taco bell 10/? 

[total of a small order comes to 6.66$]

Me: Everything on the screen look right for ya tonight?

Customer: Yeah ...but not with that number!

Me: Do you wanna... Add on a cinnamon twist then?

Customer: Yes. Good.

Me: Alright. Any sauce with that?

Customer: Uuuuuhhh... Mild is fine.

Me: Sure you don't want any *diablo?* 😈

Customer: *NO* I'M QUITE ALRIGHT WITH MILD,,

Me: alright pull forward

Show thread

heckling, tales from taco bell 11/? 

[customer's car pulls up to the window]

me: "Hi, 4.11$?"

drunk guy in the back seat: "Suck my DICK!"

me, without breaking customer service mode: "Not for 4.11$ I won't! Also get lost!"

Show thread

tales from taco bell 12/? 

[customer pulls up to the speaker]

me: "Hi how are you?"

guy: "I'm drunk as FUCK"

me: "Oh, I'm... sorry about that?"

guy: "No it's like, it's good actually."

Show thread

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@starwall The lesson here is to always have some good-natured fun with the person at the drive thru window like this because they're bored af.

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@KitsuneAlicia @starwall Truth is stranger than fiction.

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@KitsuneAlicia @starwall I assume I already told you my Taco Bell story?

@micrackbiron @KitsuneAlicia told my boss and he said "oh shit, that's the combo number 16!" (we don't have a combo number 16)

@micrackbiron I should call my manager and see if they have any good ideas

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@starwall holy shit thiss is the best one

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@tavi I jumped into character so fucking fast haha

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@starwall imo fucking rules that u get to have this much fun sometimes even if it is a shit minimum wage job

tales from taco bell 7/? 

@tavi honestly it is a lot of fun most of the time, which is why I still do it

re: tales from taco bell 7/? 

@starwall this is definitely excellent. Were we in the car it'd stick with us for a while :)

tales from taco bell 8/? 

@starwall holy shit. it is.

re: tales from taco bell 

@starwall starwall pls! all of theseeeeaspjashasohfoihfoasf where was I ah yes all of these are GOLD

tales from taco bell 9/? 

@starwall isn't cheese and lettuce all that comes on them?

tales from taco bell 9/? 

@starwall maybe they wanted only cheese and lettuce. No meat

tales from taco bell 9/? 

@taweret no they wanted the meat too haha

tales from taco bell 9/? 

@taweret they were just super stoned

tales from taco bell 9/? 

@starwall ah. You should have asked them if they've ever really thought about what tacos mean

tales from taco bell 10/? 

@starwall laughing at the idea of the antichrist manifesting, of all things, in a taco bell

tales from taco bell 10/? 

@radoptimist it makes a lot of sense really

tales from taco bell 10/? 

@starwall He certainly manifests through my asshole whenever I have Taco Bell

tales from taco bell 10/? 

@starwall this is a lie, I have had Taco Bell exactly once in my life and it did not give me diarrhoea

re: tales from taco bell 10/? 

@starwall you absolute fucking gremlin, you. :blobyeengrin:

re: tales from taco bell 10/? 

@LexYeen it was so great in person. every coworker of mine in the store burst out laughing

re: tales from taco bell 10/? 

@starwall Given the reaction? You probably made them think you were the literal actual devil tempting them... With taco bell hot sauce that was kinda-sorta respectably strong.

re: tales from taco bell 10/? 

@LexYeen @starwall Hi, welcome to Taco Beelzebub.

tales from taco bell 10/? 

@starwall now I'm wondering what a cinnamon twist with Diablo sauce taste like.

@starwall nothing this entertaining ever happened at my taco hell.

@starwall nah I worked like. Lunchtime. I didn't get to talk on the intercom either I just had a headset for internal stuff

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.