jesus fucking christ this home assistant is the dumbest piece of technology I've ever seen

Me: "Do you ever look out into the sky and imagine how far away it all is?"
Google: "No dipshit it's just 14 and a half feet away, christ get some glasses"

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You can hear me break upon saying the words "send feedback"

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@starwall i kinda expected you to be like

google home: what needs to be improved
you: everything

@starwall the observable universe is 29' in diameter If You're Observing With A Google Home tho

jus' 'cause you can see around corners doesn't mean it can.


i wonder if that answer would change if you took it outside :tinking:

Maybe it's onto something

I mean there is a theory this is a simulation... Perhaps were in a 29 foot long server room?

@starwall wow, yeah. The assistant on the phone says that too. 😂🤣

@starwall I had a google home for exactly one week until I realized it wouldn't even let me use it as an alarm clock after I deactivated location tracking and other stuff in my google account

@starwall it would respond to general queries web based just fine but setting a local on-device alarm? No.

@Taweret @starwall I mean it's definitely between those two values? So good job Alexa.


@Taweret @starwall Estimates for the length of my dick are between 3 millimetres and 27 kilometres.


@Taweret @starwall
Oh my God, you fucking beat me to.this joke by like thirty seconds

@starwall oh shit i figured it out

it stops parsing "8.8x10^23 kilometers" at the x, and then assumes metric and defaults to meters

then converts to feet, which is pretty close to 29

@monorail @starwall actually, I wonder if it's parsing the "Diameter: 8.8 m (×10^26)" that comes up when you google it, then?

@petra @starwall oh good point, it's probably going from that to the assistant where the parsing error happens

lewd, shitpost 

She right tho, my dick is 29'

This is bad and I feel bad, but theres nothing we can do about it now 🤷‍♀️

@starwall Have you confirmed you're not inside a static warp bubble?

@starwall I showed this to my parents and my mom said, "yeah, YOUR observable universe" and i died

@starwall one of my irl freinds that goes to the university told me that some kid said that the distance from the neucleas to the electron is 50x larger than the known universe xD

@starwall Wait, it's that episode of Star Trek The Next Generation! You're stuck in a pocket universe that's shrinking!

@starwall you can't PROVE that the universe isn't 29 feet, Starwall, you haven't been up there, but Google has, they must know something we don't!!

@NormalPopsicle @starwall Of course Google Majel, er, Assistant (internal project name was Majel) will tell you the same thing.

@starwall starwall this is the best hecking thing oh my goodness

@starwall wait how big is ur room starwall... what is the diameter...

@starwall yo you got you one of those models from inside Star Trek, The Next Generation, Season 4, Episode 5, "Remember Me"


@starwall guess it just got confused with exponents.

a google search for "diameter of the observable universe" returns 8.8m * 10^26, and 8.8m is about 29 feet.

@starwall hey so sorry I’m manspreading or whatever but... the universe is only 29 feet so I gotta take up 6 of those. Sorry

:3< @starwall i've watched þis several times & it doesn't get any less funny

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