In the future the giraffes are striped red and white all the way up and have blinking lights on top to avoid colissions as they evolve to cross roads and duck beneath airplanes.

In the future, snails have evolved to grow reflective orange and white cones instead of swirled shells

In the future all the little black spiders have hearts on their backs and bigger eyes as they try to domesticate themselves.

In the future all of the grass has learned to get to a particular height and then stop growing upwards, all of their flowers are done nearly at ground level.

In the future all of the squirrels and rodents gather litter and leave them at Squirrel Depots where they are given food in exchange for their labor.

In the future the pigeons have evolved to be excellent at karaoke and tend to have colorful feathers with little bow ties, and they say thank you when given food.

In the future the elephants have occupied the evolutionary painting neiche quite well, humans and robots simply can't keep up.

In the future the deer have evolved wheels to migrate seasonally by commuter train.

In the future, chimpanzees have evolved to ask for spare change during traffic and use it to buy fruit.

In the future the sea turtles are made of propeller-proof kevlar shells and are more numerous than ever.

In the future the whales are furry like moths, and use their coat to avoid the sonar detection of dolphin manned whaling submarines.

In the future the mushrooms generate electricity and latch themselves onto power lines so that the humans cultivated them and domesticated them.

In the future Canaries have learned to start chirping in the presense of alpha particle radiation since all of the coal mines are long empty. Canaries are now brought along on deep space expeditions and are expected to develop a resistance to the vaccume of space.

In the future, deer have evolved giant neck sacks for honking at cars like frogs croak.

In the future the butterflies have evolved to blend in with confetti and only tend to come out during New Years and are attracted to the scent of balloons.

In the future, tigers have evolved coats that blend into brick walls or concrete sidewalks, and lazily tend to hang about on orange sodium street lights, hunting unsuspecting humans.

In the future, snakes have evolved to be able to see wifi and cell phone signals so they know when humans are coming.

In the future the nature is brutally urban and the urban jungle is quite literal

Anyways what this thread is trying to say is that I'm the Urban Sage

In the future the birds of prey will be bright shades of orange and yellow and have flashing lights on both wings to prevent accidents

@starwall would they make beeping noises when walking backwards?

@starwall Jumping spiders already have the cuteness advantage. They just need to get bigger to be noticed more.

@JohnBrownJr the future is an extreme version of the absurd present and only we can change that

@lyliawisteria the trees will be wifi repeaters, the birds will coordinate GPS signals, the plants will be the grid, the streets will heal and grow, the bricks will be grown in fields like watermelons

You absolutely should, this is amazing 🙏

@starwall The result of natural selection pressure caused by drones.

@starwall in the future, cars play "back that ass up" when backing up

@starwall i like the use of the word "emit" here, this is a top shelf toot (TST)

Sorry, but after the queer revolution, WiFi will be outlawed and replaced by BiFi.

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