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This Navy Seal’s Funeral is Brought to You by; Tostitos®. The Perfect Chip for Your Next Get-Together.

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Pendulous is a really smart-sounding word that I've only ever heard used to describe big breasts.

@ross okay, it’s a Tootdon thing. bizarre

Why are asterisks not showing up? This place breaks in the strangest ways

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@ross has posted stuff that's made me have to leave my desk at work to avoid having to tell people what i'm laughing about

Me wearing a little sailor hat and Iranian flag booty shorts that mike pompeo bought me, riding a jet ski across the gulf of Oman: “oh boy, I sure do love being Iranian” *barrels into the side of a tanker*

There’s an apartment building near here called rooster (cock) with a restaurant in it called bol (ball)

I had a cup of “safe to eat” cookie dough from a food truck and whether or not it will give me food poisoning is irrelevant because I can feel myself becoming diabetic. It is decidedly unsafe.

Caught my dog listening to a numbers station again 😔

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BOOST if you agree that the only "Streisand Effect" you acknowledge is the tears that stream down your face while listening to her rendition of Send in the Clowns

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*mark Cuban voice* I'm not acquainted with the expanded universe of Dune, I'm out.

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The Red Sox absolutely refuse to score runs for Chris Sale. He has 2 immaculate innings, a CGSO, a 17 K game, a WHIP under 1... and 2 wins. Ridiculous.

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i didn't know the UK existed until the release of Austin Powers

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hey you guys check this out *my dick falls off* wait no fuck that wasn't it

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as the sole proprietor of womenarestupid dot org (since 2006), I'm suing those womenarestupid dot site assholes

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.