Sticky toot
Sticky toot

[we now take a brief interlude for weed]

Sticky toot

in the hospital having just given birth, talking to my newborn child: "hi baby! you can think of my as myspace tom — your default friend"

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anime is not drawn it is a filmed documentary of life inside the hollow earth

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can someone pause the universe so i can sleep for three years thanks

i can tell good omens is my type of show because i walked away for three minutes and came back and had no idea what was happening

flirting? on MY timeline? it’s more likely than you think!

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It's 2019 and we're still letting cereal manufacturers get away with freeze dried marshmallows that look nothing like what they're meant to represent. We deserve better. We're giving these cereal fat cats billions of dollars but their rusty old marshmallow pressing machines remain woefully out of date. It's high time our shamrocks were shaped like shamrocks and our marshmallow rainbows had three distinct colors, minimum.

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peebs boosted

i am starting a war campaign, we attack everyone in mastodon in cahoots with the sun

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body horror, no seriously 

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if I could help Jen find someone up to her stature I would, but unfortunately angels are notoriously slippery

body horror, no seriously 

oh are we jen posting? jen is the fuckin best

i love my girlfriend but shh dont tell her its a secret

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I'm just saying,

If you do a bad thing,

And you know you're doing a bad thing,

And you keep doing the bad thing,

I have no sympathy for you.

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Them: dress for the job you want, not the job you have!

Me:

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I told my friends a long time ago when we were children: I will absolutely be a traitor to the human race if aliens arrive here. Fuck y’all, I wanna try the ice cream and sweets aliens eat. GTFOH.

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@Ophillous sweet dreams are made of bees
who am i to diss a bee?
travel the world via seven bees
everybod-bees looking for something

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setting up an instance. it has no federated timeline, no local timeline, no notifications and no home timeline. all it has is one picture of a clown and that's it

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.