Sticky toot

Gazing into my newborn daughter's sleeping face, tearing up with the cascade of love spilling out of me, and she suddenly frowns and rips a massive fart

manipulating the stock market by tilting the trading floor 20°

fast and furious is what the girls call me instead of calling me back. not sure why.

"Niles?"
"Yes, Frasier?"
"Would you happen to know who used my hellsite account while I was away?"
"Ahh, well, you see,

all boomers do is face book, believe lies, drive they car, and retire

Hate it when my musician boyfriend is leading my soul out of the underworld and we're almost out but then he glances back at me like he PROMISED not to and I am bound to remain forever in Hades' kingdom of damned shades

:drake_dislike: googling 'what's the stock market' and then trying to do serious Politics takes about the reddit gamestop stuff

:drake_like: putting on your joker makeup and enjoying the chaos baby

Locked by the Twitter dot com algorithms... one man returns to Mastodon... to seek his destiny

<boulders of molten pumice barreling thru the streets of Millennial Pompeii>

Millennial: Siri, I don't like this!! Play a different podcast!!

Siri: This is not a podcast.

Millennial: Frown emoji!!

Siri: Warning! Prepare for death by superheated pyroclastic flow

Millennial: ... Foot emoji foot emoji peach emoji tongue em--

Hate it when my musician boyfriend is leading my soul out of the underworld and we're almost out but then he glances back at me like he PROMISED not to and I am bound to remain forever in Hades' kingdom of damned shades

remember to sit in well drained soils unless your roots require periodic submersion

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I had given up on pretty much all of these plants and I cannot capture how excited I am to see them actually start developing after sitting around for an entire summer

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Omfg I thought this thing was dead!!! I was gonna throw it into the compost pile last week!!!!

hot food take 

i am stealing your oven

I'm also doing the rutabaga and carrots but those are less pretty, I planted them too closely and waited too long to thin so I'm fucking a lot of them up, sorry my smol frends

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Thinning out the kale patch today. I kinda hate doing this since they're all healthy and viable plants, but it gives the others the space and nutrients they need. Gotta bulk up before I try to overwinter them. On the plus side, now we've a TON of baby kale leaves

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.