Sticky toot

It’s just King, not “a King” or “The King”. Like King Kong, but just the first part. I'm gonna show up every month or so when I think of something I think is funny or when I get a notification of a mention. This is a bad introduction, but there it is, read some of the posts I guess, they're okay.

Sticky toot

Taking a shit when my phone is charging in another room.

Sticky toot

Training like Usain Bolt so I can fuck in under 10 seconds, setting a world record.

Sticky toot

Me, upending a bowl of grapes: “For the last time Susan, these are *table* grapes”

Sticky toot

If you were really a socialist you would share your followers with me

King boosted

Training like Usain Bolt so I can fuck in under 10 seconds, setting a world record.

King boosted

Taking a shit when my phone is charging in another room.

Thanks for the DM and all but I'm not sure it's worth it making another account somewhere

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Got a notification for the first time in months and now it turns out things are shutting down

King boosted

I like when people take the internet really seriously, that cracks me the fuck up

Posting is hard if you're not sure you're good at it

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I think I first signed up on Mastodon like a year ago, bailed, came back a little later, went all out for like a month, and then basically bailed again

King boosted

i have eaten one bloomin' onion and i'm pretty sure if i ever eat another one in the rest of my life i'll die on the spot

Sneaking into the bathroom at the Panera Bread to fuck the cashier is praxis

King boosted

wearing glasses and a striped shirt, beard dyed some wild color, drinking a Coke Zero Sugar

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.