Sticky toot

Training like Usain Bolt so I can fuck in under 10 seconds, setting a world record.

Sticky toot

Me, upending a bowl of grapes: “For the last time Susan, these are *table* grapes”

Sticky toot

Hi, I’m King, I’m not very good at writing a bio of myself, but I like good food, movies, and building things (usually out of wood)!
I’m not really an online person and I don’t do social media, so this is pretty unique to me.
It’s just King, not “a King” or “The King”. Like King Kong (no relation).
Please feel free to say hello, I’d love to get to know you.

Sticky toot

If you were really a socialist you would share your followers with me

King boosted

More like im🍑ment b/c Trump so thicc

King boosted

People getting 30 boosts on a Mastodon post like “wow, this really blew up! Check out CW: cursed food/lewd/my whole dick and balls”

King boosted

Reading about ospreys and loving this picture so much, your house is an osprey house now, thank you, it's an honor

King boosted

Mastodon is Crumbling and Many Blame sagging floors pulling inward on the perimeter columns, causing them to bow and then to buckle. Once the upper section began to move downwards, a total progressive collapse was unavoidable.

Mastodon is Crumbling and Many Blame sagging floors pulling inward on the perimeter columns, causing them to bow and then to buckle. Once the upper section began to move downwards, a total progressive collapse was unavoidable.

People getting 30 boosts on a Mastodon post like “wow, this really blew up! Check out CW: cursed food/lewd/my whole dick and balls”

King boosted

Chopping wood outside my remote cabin, I hear a noise at the tree line. When I look up, there he is. It’s Bigfoot and he is absolutely hanging dong.

King boosted

That’s me in the corner
That’s me with my pants off
Learning sex positions

Mastodon can have little a King as a treat.

Okay, that’s enough. See you in some weeks or whatever

King boosted

slash can have little a typo, as a traet

King boosted

if you think some people on the internet are really bad at recognizing irony, remember almost every movie critic thought Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was serious

Chopping wood outside my remote cabin, I hear a noise at the tree line. When I look up, there he is. It’s Bigfoot and he is absolutely hanging dong.

All I want is to be the fucking worst

I’d like this to imply that I am alone and learning from a book

That’s me in the corner
That’s me with my pants off
Learning sex positions

King boosted

In a lot of ways I’m like Beetlejuice, except that you only need to mention me one time to get me to show up and also I am way grosser. Just filthy.

King boosted

@king I saw the hash browns of my generation,
Destroyed by madness

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.