Sticky toot

Me, upending a bowl of grapes: “For the last time Susan, these are *table* grapes”

Sticky toot

Hi, I’m King, I’m not very good at writing a bio of myself, but I like good food, movies, and building things (usually out of wood)!
I’m not really an online person and I don’t do social media, so this is pretty unique to me.
It’s just King, not “a King” or “The King”. Like King Kong (no relation).
Please feel free to say hello, I’d love to get to know you.

Sticky toot

If you were really a socialist you would share your followers with me

King boosted
King boosted

mayor pete brandishing a wet noodle and attacking all his line dancers until they are able to dance in perfect formation for the tiktok

It probably won’t kill them but they’ll be bad sick and that sucks

This is a public pet service announcement

Poinsettias can make your pet really sick if they eat them so if you’ve got dogs or cats maybe skip them this holiday season or at least put them somewhere where your animal can’t get them.

Anyone else in the “wake up with an agonizing tummy ache because they ate too much spicy salsa last night despite the fact that they knew it would give them an agonizing tummy ache but wow that was great salsa” crew?

Might fuck around and wake up too early, regretting it for the rest of the day.

King boosted

More like im🍑ment b/c Trump so thicc

King boosted

King Kong could never fuck because he is simply too big. This is his curse. This is why he is so angry.

King boosted

thinking about throwing a brosgiving this year. just me and the fellas. gathering around the dinner table to crack open an ice cold turkey with my mf boys. CBD stuffing. just vibing.

King boosted

everybodys all too happy to go to town on tarantino for the foot shit and yet ive never heard a word said about bunuel, even though he manages to be even more overt about it

King boosted

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooong head like some kind of fucked up cephalopod

Tom Clancy's Bram Stoker's Dracula

King boosted

My favorite thing about rock & roll is the ampersand

King boosted
King boosted
King boosted

the memes for magicians facebook page, which is usually awful because it's full of the worst people ever (magicians), has found their first funny meme: Coming up with a bunch of ways to make their final reveal in their tricks "Epstein Didn't Kill Himself"

King boosted

talking about nothing for 25 minutes of a 30-minute meeting

:promoted: Sponsored by Corporations

Nobody at the Denny's appreciates my elaborate bugbear cosplay complete with crude armor and genuine stink

King boosted

Help my cat is smoking a blunt and shooting dice with some raccoons and it keeps telling me to fuck off

Show more
Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.