Sticky toot

Me, upending a bowl of grapes: “For the last time Susan, these are *table* grapes”

Sticky toot

Hi, I’m King, I’m not very good at writing a bio of myself, but I like good food, movies, and building things (usually out of wood)!
I’m not really an online person and I don’t do social media, so this is pretty unique to me.
It’s just King, not “a King” or “The King”. Like King Kong (no relation).
Please feel free to say hello, I’d love to get to know you.

Sticky toot

If you were really a socialist you would share your followers with me

King boosted

Look, Pinterest, I don’t want to know about perpetual motion machines

Scary story 

Scary story 

Scary story 

The haunting is not the most upsetting thing

Hit or miss, I guess I frequently miss, huh?

Ebay listing: Batch of a dozen sex toys

Condition: like new.

All of these sex toys are haunted, but not in a good way.

[leftist voice] two tickets to The Woker

King boosted

tangentially lewd meta shitpost 

King boosted
King boosted
King boosted

Mario 3 castle theme playing in a sex dungeon.

King boosted

Share your favorite colossal statues with me please

King boosted

Waluigi's dick looks like a crinkle cut french fry, and you can take that to the bank

Building a Wile E. Coyote style giant magnet to draw in the largest asteroids possible

King boosted

another day volunteering at the clown college. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the clowns. buddy...

King boosted
King boosted

Who called it a USPol hellthread and not “You can’t do that on Mastodon”

King boosted

Fellas is it gay to defeat your nemesis in a duel, and then stand over him, breathing hard, and throw away your sword?

King boosted
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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.