anyway how they came to the conclusion that 100% of my hair is dyed red when i very obviously and very intentionally did a black and red thing, and was sitting RIGHT HERE IN EYESIGHT WITH PLENTY OF BLACK HAIR, continues to be beyond me
they've never brought it up again
they all immediately wrote it off and forgot
OKAY WHO IS TEXTING HIM, WHO IS HE TEXTING, WHAT ARE THEY PLOTTING, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?????? THE TEXTS STILL HAVE NOT STOPPED
IS HE IN A HORSE DETECTIVE GROUP CHAT??????????
OKAY GANG WE'RE SAFE
he just called me over to show me the candle
he has no idea that it was only there for like 47 seconds before he found it, he rarely pays attention to that shelf but went for a salt shaker to put on some eggs and went "AH SON OF A BITCH" when he immediately noticed the lurking horse
he doesn't know whether it showed up last week or today
me: "where the hell do you even get a horsehead candle???"
"I DUNNO, I DUNNO. -laughing- look at this damned thing"
@killeveryhetero it's gonna escalate to the point where you're gonna need like a pinup horse calendar soon
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