Sticky toot

Canceled for admitting I went to a private Methodist college on main

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Somebody was listening to banjo music at brunch

No greater power than taking a shit when there’s a line in the men’s room. Piss your pants, peasants

Never realized how spiritually connected Stairway To Heaven and Give It Away were until hearing them back to back just now

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🐘 ⚾ : Game 11 

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the existence of airhorns implies the existence of earth, water and firehorns

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How come bosses are always like "you're fired" instead of earthed aired or watered

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aw man, i woke up in a bathtub full of ice and there was an incision right where one of my ribs used to be... oh well, i'm going to use these lemons to make lemonade

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John Cena is in the new Suicide Squad movie 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

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kermit's reaction to miss piggy finally just making a sexbot in his image to replace him is Big Mood

Love to be on speakerphone and hear myself talking! I love my own voice and I don’t at all want to separate my corporeal form when I hear it!!

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aaaaahhh... to finally be free from the bindings of twitter dot com! time to be satan... online

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camel spits on me. i spit on camel. camel spits on me again. i keep spitting on the camel. it goes back and forth like this for 3,000 years until i trick a farm boy to take my place like an ancient greek deity would

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.