My side hustle is taking a dollar from my children every time they say the f word

Last night @JohnBrownJr couldn't sleep because he was achy and had chills but now he's faithfully eating his morning cereal so my official diagnosis is that he's "fine" and was just "faking it for attention."

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very low energy today. think im gonna take an 8 hour nap at 10 am

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@JohnBrownJr @beerforbreakfast I'm sorry but this thread is the most married thing I've ever seen

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edward just looks like he finished crying and getting sick all the time

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Caps 

"GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH OR WE WONT READ AND YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT IF CHARLOTTE SAVES WILBUR" is a thing I said today

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What to bring when you evacuate 

Hey y'all. My family is packed to evacuate at a moment's notice. Maybe you've been thinking about this too. Here's some ideas of what to pack:

Clothes (3-4 days worth)
Water bottles or bladder (3-4 gallons per person)
Portable nutritious food (3-4 days)
Prescription meds
Personal hygiene products
Anything pets or babies might need
Important docs (birth certificate, insurance proof, SS card, etc)
Cash
Battery powered flashlights, radio w extra batteries

Imagine parenting in 2020 and not teaching your kids to respect people's gender.

No thank you

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"good" morning? first of all, where the fuck do you get off

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cereal 

Holy shit, chocolate peanut butter cheerios

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my bed is so comfortable; i just wanna lay here for the rest of the night

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making kids do the pledge of allegiance in zoom school is so depraved what the hell

Food ment 

I just spent a lot of time trying to figure out how soft serve ice cream places swirl two flavors together and apparently one of the handles just pulls two flavors from the same container and the process is the same as pulling one flavor. Disappointing.

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self “selfie” photograph, eye contact, boosts ok but flattery is even better 

i just came in from mowing the lawn and i’m hot

Food adj 

I guess it's all just a series of risk management decisions we make every day but come on

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Food adj 

People who eat at my restaurant and request plastic silverware but drink from our glassware?

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if I were a 20th-century shipbuilder I would simply not name my ships something any sailor from literally any point in human history could tell me would 100000000% attract the wrath of the sea

Food 

My body is so busted today that I'm taking my tattoo artist's advice to eat spicy food for the endorphins

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.