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i've had a lot of long-running threads but this has got to be my favorite so far, by far,

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HE HAS CONFIRMED THE TIME-LAPSE FUNCTIONALITY ON HIS IPAD

TARGET'S SURVEILLANCE CAPABILITIES: ACKNOWLEDGED

HORSEDAY OPERATIONAL SECURITY CONCERNS: NEGLIGIBLE

YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD HORSE DOWN, BITCH ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ

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POWERING DOWN HORSEDAY.EXE TO BASELINE, ESSENTIAL FUNCTIONALITIES FOR THE NEXT 14 DAYS IN PREPARATION FOR PHASE 4

LOCKDOWN: INITIATED

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LOCKDOWN EXTENDED FOR AN ADDITIONAL 7 DAYS, AS THE TARGET IS RETREATING FOR SOME SORT OF ARCANE RITUAL INVOLVING LARGE DOMESTIC BIRDS

PHASE FOUR OPERATIONAL ACTIVITIES REPLANNED FOR DECEMBER 3RD

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THE TARGET HAS NOT LEFT HIS DAMNED DESK ALL DAY

I AWAIT MY CHANCE FOR GLORY

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FROM MY HQ I SURVEIL ALL SURROUNDINGS

HERE YOU CAN SEE MY SECRET: I HAVE ANGLED REFLECTIONS TO EVERY SINGLE CO-WORKER'S HEAD & MONITOR

FIRST, THE HORSETARGET. EASY. THEN, BOSSMAN -- BY MOVING SIDE TO SIDE BOTH MONITORS BECOME VISIBLE (this is a reflection of a reflection).

BUT LASTLY. THE PIรˆCE DE Rร‰SISTANCE. THE GUY BEHIND THE WALL IN FRONT OF ME. CAN YOU SEE IT? CAN YOU SEE HIS BALD HEAD? CUZ I CAN, AND IT INSTANTLY TELLS ME IF HE'S THERE OR NOT

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THE MAN CATTYCORNER TO ME CAN BE SPOTTED VIA MY CLEVERLY PLACED DESK LAMP, NEVER USED

THE GUY NEXT TO HIM (quiet fellow) IS VISIBLE THROUGH THIS CONVENIENTLY PLACED CRACK

AND THE LARGE FELLOW DIRECTLY ACROSS THE AISLE TO MY RIGHT CAN BE BARELY, BUT COVERTLY, SURVEILLED THROUGH THIS SLIVER OF A REFLECTION (of a reflection, maybe of another reflection). HERE YOU CAN SPOT THE ARCH OF HIS ORTHOPEDIC CHAIR, PUSHED IN, SIGNIFYING HIS ABSENCE

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the man behind me is a simpler affair, as he is oblivious to anything but his work, so i simply turn around and look at him. he is usually sitting right there when i've pulled off horseday operations -- he never notices

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if he doesn't FUCKIN LEAVE soon i'll have to make the switch after he fully leaves for the day, but that will mean i miss his initial reaction tomorrow morning (he gets in at like 6AM like a maniac)

HRMMMM.

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๐Ÿšจ OPERATIONAL SUCCESS, FOLKS ๐Ÿšจ

I REPEAT, OPERATIONAL SUCCESS!!!!!!!

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AND NOW ALL THERE IS TO DO IS AWAIT OUR TARGET'S RETURN

OVER AND OUT COMRADES, HOOOOOOOO RAH

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he better come fucking back this is the only reason i haven't fled work as soon as my boss turned his back

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"no horse stuff today?"

"nope, no horse stuff today. i think either tom or you had a hand in it"

"horse stuff?"

"yeah, a couple months ago somebody put THIS on my desk"

HE PICKED IT UP AND MOVED IT HE HAS NOT REALIZED THE RIDER IS NEW WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

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he's finally made the connection to his camel pictures but he's talking about it like the horse pranks stopped a few weeks ago HE LITERALLY HE PICKED IT UP HOW POWERFUL IS CHANGE BLINDNESS HOLY HELL

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HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?????????? HE'S JUST. CASUALLY TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL NOW

THE THREE OF THEM STAND AROUND HIS DESK, LIKE A TRIBUNAL

OUR STEADFAST RIDER SITS BETWEEN THEM, PLAIN AS DAY

NONE OF THEM ARE AWARE THAT THIS HORSE DIDN'T ORIGINALLY HAVE A RIDER ON IT, OR REINS, OR A BRIDLE, OR A SADDLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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THE TRIBUNAL HAS RETURNED TO THEIR TASKS

BACK TO WORK!!!

I AM GOBSMACKED

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THE TARGET HAS NOT ATTENDED HIS REGULAR 9:00 MEETING

OPERATIONS WILL NEED TO BE ALTERED ACCORDINGLY

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STAND BY FOR GLORY, COMRADES

WE'LL SEE THIS MISSION THROUGH TO VICTORY, NO MATTER THE HARDSHIPS

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let's use this break to briefly, unrelatedly, ponder what in the fresh hell is going on over in THIS corner of the office today,

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just want to let y'all know that today's payload is an absolute masterpiece that i stayed up in bed working on on my phone for an hour and a half after when i was supposed to go to sleep last night

AND I WON'T SPOIL ITS GLORY BY POSTING IT EARLY

YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN MY STRIKE IS SUCCESSFUL

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a super old lady i'm vaguely familiar with just passed me in the hall, made direct eye contact, grinned and loudly made some kind of demonic noise, "wrrhooOO!" (silent H)

what the fuck

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maybe she was trying to say howareYOUUUU but her mouth was full of sand

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so yesterday i tried to print this horse on the top corner of his camel print-out

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i snuck over to his stash, carefully extracted the TAINTED ARTIFACT, and loaded it into the printer to be printed upon

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.... unfortunately it's a weird shape cuz he cut out his horrible print job to make it look less like shit so all i accomplished was jamming the printer

after which i had to open up the whole damned printer (which is larger than my entire body) to rescue the TAINTED ARTIFACT from it's clutches, and return it to its nest.

there is a vaguely horse-shaped smudge on it, now, but overall the operation was a failure

:pensive_cowboy:

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๐Ÿšจ THE TARGET IS DISCUSSING LUNCH PLANS ๐Ÿšจ

HE IS STRONGLY CONSIDERING JIMMY JOHNS

MY DISGUST, AND CONTEMPT, SURGE EVER HIGHER

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๐Ÿšจ I REPEAT, ALL UNITS REPORTING OPERATIONAL SUCCESS ๐Ÿšจ

WE NOW AWAIT THE TARGET'S RETURN

OVER AND OUT, HOO RAH

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ONE OF THE TARGET'S MAIN SUSPECTS, WHO NORMALLY WORKS FROM A DIFFERENT OFFICE, STOPPED BY FOR A VISIT

I COULDN'T HAVE PLANNED THIS BETTER

he's gonna be absolutely convinced this guy is responsible when he hears he was here from his cube neighbor

๐ŸŽ:jhorse:๐ŸŽ:jhorse:๐ŸŽ:jhorse:๐ŸŽ:jhorse:๐ŸŽ

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as if to prove the message on the payload as correct as possible, he hasn't fucking noticed it

I WILL NOT ABANDON MY POST UNTIL I WITNESS HIS REACTION TO TODAY'S OPERATION

I WILL STARVE IN THIS CHAIR BEFORE I MISS THIS MOMENT, THIS IS MY SOLEMN VOW TO YOU ALL,

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i casually let him know he's "been horsed again".

"i got horsed??! damn! how long's that been there!"

he hasn't gotten up to look at it yet, perhaps awaiting his cube neighbor's return

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"HEY TOM. I GOT HORSED AGAIN."

"you got horsed??"

"yeah"

"CARLOS."

"you think?"

"it HAD to be"

"i think it's ZOEY. only common denominator."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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@killeveryhetero the jig is up! ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿš”

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