⚠️ URGENT ONE-WEEK UPDATE!!!! ⚠️
🚨 CRITICAL ALMOST-TWO-WEEK
noticing that he just leaves these things up all week, i have chosen this monday to massively improve the situation
he has not noticed, yet
upon arriving to work today, all of the camels have been removed. unsure what the reaction was when he noticed
if he puts any/all of them back up this wednesday, i will print out a picture of a large horse with the words GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!!!! and attach it to his cube this thursday
if questioned, i will deny any knowledge of these actions
two weeks from now on a thursday, i will wish him a "happy horseday" in passing
VERY WELL. OPERATION: HORSEDAY WILL GO INTO EFFECT NEXT WEEK.
THE TARGET HAS LEFT EARLY FOR THE DAY
COMMENCE OPERATION:HORSEDAY. I REPEAT, COMMENCE OPERATION:HORSEDAY
OVER AND OUT, HOO RAH
there is no sign of my masterpiece to be seen
target's reaction: unknown
a reasonably accurate dramatization of his discovery upon arriving to work this morning: "what the, fuck? huh??"
OH ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN??? HUH??? YOU WANNA PLAY GUY??? ALRIGHT ITS ON, I'LL SEE YOU TUESDAY BUDDY 🐎🐎🐎 🐎🐎
IT'S ON MOTHER FUCKER
i forgot to celebrate horseday
it'll only mean his guard will be that much lower next week
THE TARGET HAS LEFT HIS DESK
HE SUSPECTS NOTHING
OPERATION HORSEDAY ROUND TWO: START
he didn't notice it for several minutes
while i was trying to get a sneaky photo of him typing with the horse in the background, he FOUND IT
behold the ultimate action shot:
"hey Tom, who came back here while i was gone?"
"like in the past 15 minutes, who came by my desk?"
"oh i dunno, i guess i wasn't paying attention"
"i got a ... horse. someone left a horse."
"i was here the whole time too, guess i didn't notice. huh."
I STRIKE FROM THE SHADOWS
NONE SUSPECT MY PRESENCE, LIKE A VERY DARK COLOURED PIDGEON IN A DARK ALLEYWAY, PLOTTING
IF THE CAMELS RETURN, NEXT WEEK A NEW HORSE WILL APPEAR, ALONG WITH AN EQUINE PHOTOGRAPH WITH THIS OVERLAYED ON TOP:
c'mon you motherfucker it's been two weeks without a camel picture put up
how am i supposed to continue my Art if you don't give me something to retaliate against???
i've overheard him talking about the inexplicable horse gift several times, it's still sitting on his desk
me, staring at the variety of horse figurines on my desk at home, all awaiting their chance for glory,
The Great Horse War is still stuck in a cease-fire since the Camel Nation halted all hostilities
this displeases me
there is, however, a parallel conflict in this office
one that has been going on for literal years
between my father, and an unknown antagonist
The Office Kitchen TV Fox News War
i overheard camelbro yesterday remarking that he is the culprit!!!!?
here's a screenshot of the direct quote
game on, fucker
you like that 8 0 so much, do ya?
good luck buddy, i keep a screwdriver in my purse at all times
a few minutes ago i stole the remote and snuck into a "phone room" (tiny private cubes for making calls)
after carefully removing (ripping) the 8 off, I scratched off the wiring on the board below it so that the 8 could never be pressed again
it kept lighting up anyway when I added the button back, but the button sits in the remote kinda shitty and it accidentally presses more than you want if you manage to get it to light up.... oh well, mission close enough to accomplished i guess
it turns out that if you manage to press the 8.... it sends 5, instead
CHECKMATE MOTHERFUCKER YOU CAME TO THE WRONG 🐎NEIGH🐎BORHOOD
OPERATION HORSEDAY TAKES THINGS INTO ITS OWN HANDS
FOR TOO LONG HAVE WE WAITED ON DEFENSE
TUESDAY, WE GO ON THE OFFENSIVE OURSELVES
THE LONG AWAITED CONTINUATION OF OPERATION HORSEDAY IS UPON US
first, behold the ＨＯＲＳＥ in it's natural state, exactly as it was when delivered onto the target's desk:
now, behold the ＩＭＰＲＯＶＥＭＥＮＴ
yes folks, that's right, you've guessed it: operation horseday has officially escalated to chemical weapons: GASLIGHTING
HAS THIS SADDLE ALWAYS BEEN HERE? SURELY IT HASNT... HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN HERE? WHO PUT IT HERE? HOW DOES IT FIT SO PERFECTLY??? WHERE HAS MY LIFE GONE WRONG?????
feel free to take bets on how long it takes him to notice the ｃｈａｎｇｅ
(yes that is a coffee mug that says I LOVE MY WIFE on it)
P.S.: two weeks after i confirm that he's noticed the saddle, the saddle will gain a humble ｒｉｄｅｒ, on a tuesday, of course
🚨 !!! RED ALERT !!! 🚨
THE TARGET HAS ARRIVED
I REPEAT, THE TARGET HAS ARRIVED
he's looking right at the thing as he scribbles post-it notes for later, but hasn't noticed that anything is wrong
CHANGE BLINDNESS IS IN EFFECT, I REPEAT, CHANGE BLINDNESS HAS TAKEN EFFECT
the horse has not moved an inch
he is drinking coffee from a mug he keeps placing directly next to it, seemingly never having realized anything is awry
i don't think he'll ever realize it
it is decided! within the next week or two, we will add the bridle onto the horse, and see if that garners any kind of reaction or notice.
several weeks later, the reins will make their appearance. HOW MANY CHANGES CAN I MAKE WITH HIM STILL UNAWARES? tune in next week to find out, same horse time same horse channel
bastard is on vacation
do i add the bridle while he's gone? or wait? hmmm
i think i wait til he's back so he sees it without 1 day then with the next day, yeah, that's the ticket
🚨 MAN THE BATTLESTATIONS 🚨
🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨
🚨 I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! 🚨
EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE CAMEL NATION ATTACKED
....that kinda sounds racist out of context, hm
THE COUNTEROFFENSIVE IS PREPARED
THE PAYLOAD IS COMPLETE
WE ARE LOCKED IN FOR HORSEDAY, NOV 5TH
OVER AND OUT, HOO RAH
I STRIKE FROM THE SHADOWS
I FORGOT THE HORSE BRIDLE AT HOME
THAT PHASE OF THE OPERATION WILL HAVE TO WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK
HAVE A BLESSED HORSEDAY, COMRADES, HOOOOOOOO RAH.
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