Ah, the "I wanna block you for my health but you're so Useful" stage of the crush, goooooood good good.

if someone criticised Rube Goldberg i would simply flip a switch that activated a miniature train, pushing an egg into a series of tubes that lead to a wind-up car toy with a needle taped onto it, popping a nearby balloon which caused a small weight to fall on a button that starts a sowing machine which pulls on the fabric it's sowing, releasing seven small marbles that one by one fall into a bucket, weighing it down until the frying pan it's attached to falls from its shelf and bonks them on the head

the tender, trapped; sad post (-) Show more

Twitter: everyone is mad and I don't know why so I guess I'm going to be mad too
Mastodon: everyone is talking about dildos and I don't know why so I guess I'm going to talk about dildos too

u can actually pee from any part of your body, the govt lies and tells u it has to be the sex part

Dear Microsoft Office,

“Trepidatious” is TOO a word, liars,
and that’s how it’s spelled!

Sarah Kite

(went ahead & changed the sentence so it’s now “trepidation”, which of course Microsoft & its updates think is fine)

Ball deodorant Show more

I got handed an ayn rand sandwich
straight from the can it tasted so bland
i asked the lass to pass me a glass
of engels' conditions of the working class

lewd dildo post Show more

oooohhh OOOOHHHH

is it...
“putting on makeup at all and buying into what capitalist culture thinks you should look like when you could just say ‘fuck it - i’m old’ & slap on some lip balm & call it good”???

(ad image via Instagram)

there’s this point in a relationship when you realize you’ve married your dad...
but your dad is a stoic loner

and then there’s this other point in a relationship when you’ve realized this for the

*checks notes*

3,812th time 😐

dear goth girl with a skull shirt coming out of Fred Meyer carrying a chocolate layer cake in a plastic box:

let’s do a Thelma & Louise
(i just filled up my Subaru tank)

twf you dont know the language its in very well but a meme speaks to your soul anyway

(thx @FimbulK i think it was u that posted this)

never date someone you wouldn't commit an act of eco terrorism with

Alex Trebek: When you can’t stop eating plain crackers straight from the box.

Me (*banging on answer button*):

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Radical Town

A cool and chill place for cool and chill people.