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Conservatives: “Leftists want to suck out your soul and put it in a super-sexy androgynous machine, and feed you nothing but a healthy diet of soy products, and tuck you in at night with a gentle kiss on the forehead”

I guess the moral is that nothing will ever be as cool as a conservative nightmare

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Conservatives: “I don’t want to live in a leftist world where I’m forced to be nice or I get punished!”

Me: *full eye contact, slowly tapping a Bible”

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Mild Blasphemy, Childhood Reminiscing 

@RobinHood

Jesus: Full-communism now
Christians: There'll be time for utopia when we're dead

@RobinHood
-stands stunned, then slowly starts clapping, growing faster and faster until it's an enthusiastic roar of approval-

pol 

@Bronco @RobinHood
3 colorless mana lets you play this Uncommon Artifact:

Bible
📔
Artifact
↩️: Add 1️⃣ to your mana pool. This can only be used to cast W or G spells or to pay the cost of their activated abilities.

1️⃣↩️: Create a 2/1 White Zealot token with Vigilance.
2️⃣↩️: Create a 2/2 Green She-Bear token with Haste.

"2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."

@RobinHood "I'd join your wandering commune Jesus but my parents would get mad"

"Fuck em"

@RobinHood
I'm inclined to disagree. Bible doesn't force you to be nice, you have freewill, but you are just warned of the consequences.
However, whatever religious people tell you (specially if they are legalists) they will just focus on following things to the verbatim no matter how or what or even if it's really appliable.

@RobinHood I’m conservative and that is not the argument I have at all. Yo me that argument is generalized and misguided but I thank you for your opinion anyway.

@RobinHood This is perfect. May I share it off the Fedi and link here?

@RobinHood Conservative fearmongering "This is the future progressives want" posts are starting to actually get accurate

@RobinHood
It's funny. When these jerks make fun of us by exaggerating our ideology, we're all jumping over each other trying to get in line. "Where do we sign up?"

Meanwhile, when we exaggerate their policies, they become defensive. It's almost like conservatives know their shit is bad, but they justify it by projecting their bad shit onto us. :thinknyan:

@RobinHood
Also, for some introspection, it sounds like we're only asking for a small part of what we want, meaning we're actually on a moderate position. Makes me wonder just how far left the political compass can go if even Bernie is right-wing by comparison.

@RobinHood super-sexy androgynous machine that feeds on souls is my gender

@RobinHood this is like the time they had a fit over barcodes being the number of the beast.

Also being a sexy cyborg has been my life goal since I was like 7 so I guess I'm already a bad dream for these people :clockworkheart:

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