Conservatives: “Leftists want to suck out your soul and put it in a super-sexy androgynous machine, and feed you nothing but a healthy diet of soy products, and tuck you in at night with a gentle kiss on the forehead”
I guess the moral is that nothing will ever be as cool as a conservative nightmare
Conservatives: “I don’t want to live in a leftist world where I’m forced to be nice or I get punished!”
Me: *full eye contact, slowly tapping a Bible”
Don’t make me tap the Bible
Becoming a cyborg to own the cons
@RobinHood Jesus: the original sjw
@RobinHood B-but m-muh old testament.
@trickster or just Leviticus.
Mild Blasphemy, Childhood Reminiscing
I remember staying awake (barely) in the Synagogue on Saturdays for those recitations which were nothing but brag lists of all the animals/fruits/grains/oils you were gonna' torch to impress Yahweh.
Young Me's internal monologue: "This is duller than dishwater and also wow God why did you want everyone to waste so much food?!"
Jesus: Full-communism now
Christians: There'll be time for utopia when we're dead
-stands stunned, then slowly starts clapping, growing faster and faster until it's an enthusiastic roar of approval-
@RobinHood you make me want to carry around a tiny fake bible just so one day I can make the same nuclear burn in action
How many lands does the bible provide?
↩️: Add 1️⃣ to your mana pool. This can only be used to cast W or G spells or to pay the cost of their activated abilities.
1️⃣↩️: Create a 2/1 White Zealot token with Vigilance.
2️⃣↩️: Create a 2/2 Green She-Bear token with Haste.
"2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."
@Ope psst: we have and through
@RobinHood ...so telling them they're free to ignore the rules...
@RobinHood "I'd join your wandering commune Jesus but my parents would get mad"
I'm inclined to disagree. Bible doesn't force you to be nice, you have freewill, but you are just warned of the consequences.
However, whatever religious people tell you (specially if they are legalists) they will just focus on following things to the verbatim no matter how or what or even if it's really appliable.
@RobinHood I’m conservative and that is not the argument I have at all. Yo me that argument is generalized and misguided but I thank you for your opinion anyway.
@RobinHood This is perfect. May I share it off the Fedi and link here?
@RobinHood Conservative fearmongering "This is the future progressives want" posts are starting to actually get accurate
It's funny. When these jerks make fun of us by exaggerating our ideology, we're all jumping over each other trying to get in line. "Where do we sign up?"
Meanwhile, when we exaggerate their policies, they become defensive. It's almost like conservatives know their shit is bad, but they justify it by projecting their bad shit onto us.
Also, for some introspection, it sounds like we're only asking for a small part of what we want, meaning we're actually on a moderate position. Makes me wonder just how far left the political compass can go if even Bernie is right-wing by comparison.
This is the best of threads
@RobinHood super-sexy androgynous machine that feeds on souls is my gender
@RobinHood god i love leftists
@RobinHood No soy pls. I prefer other beans.
@RobinHood this is like the time they had a fit over barcodes being the number of the beast.
Also being a sexy cyborg has been my life goal since I was like 7 so I guess I'm already a bad dream for these people
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