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No one:

Me: “They sure consume a lot of dairy in the Redwall series. WHO ARE THEY MILKING?!?”

Don't ask... 

Don't ask... 

@Excuse_haver @InvaderXan @whiskeysailor @RobinHood J Jonah Jameson with a black af coffee on his desk: I need Spider-Man’s milk and I need it now!

@whiskeysailor @InvaderXan @RobinHood J Jonah Jameson smirking with his bripe in the corner of his mouth adding milk with an eye dropper with a taped on label that says “spidey’s special stuff”.

@Excuse_haver @whiskeysailor @InvaderXan @RobinHood Peter Parker sneaking a look at him and sighing. “The things we do for love” he thinks.

Don't ask... 

Don't ask... 

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Lewd 

@RobinHood @naga I was just re-re-re-listening to the full cast of Redwall while helping my sister recover from eye surgery... They specifically eat goat cheese! But! There! Are! No! Goats!

Cluny had a cart horse, but that may be the only one in the series?

And also, how did I miss this as a precocious, pedantic kid??

@bouncinglime @RobinHood @naga IIRC, the first book was just kind of weird … like, wasn’t that the one where there was a full-scale real-ass farmhouse with full-scale cows and such that was implied to have been built by real-ass humans?

Afterwards Mr. Brain Jack just kind of avoided all those questions and never brought up stuff like “goat cheese” ever again.

@SenorOblong @RobinHood @naga

I don't think there were cows? But there was definitely a church with iron railings. Which isn't too out of keeping with the scale of buildings; Redwall itself is an abbey.

@RobinHood I believe ~canonically~ it’s actually some kind of vegan milk equivalent made from dandelion sap or something??

@SanfordianPhil
this was the best thread to read first thing on waking up.

Bravo, y'all have won the "Weirdest (and Best) of the Fediweb" award for today, we can all go home now.
@SenorOblong @RobinHood

@RobinHood wait actually like yea what’s the logistics here. Do the mice find cows and milk those? Actually wondering now

@RobinHood i have nothing to add to this discourse but it is of great importance

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