Sticky toot

Gross, Vomit 

Justin boosted

Do you think that guy from The Silence of the Lambs likes to be tucked in at night?

Do you think that guy from The Silence of the Lambs likes to be tucked in at night?

Justin boosted

We all live by the toot but, tell me, do we die by it too?

It's 2am and I'm Wide Awake, a novel by me.

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Justin boosted

A shark is not your friend, no matter *what* they tell you. At best, you're their chum.

Justin boosted

[ rubbing a boxer’s shoulder] value is created by labor [ squirts water in boxer’s mouth ] the state enforces the will of the dominant class

A shark is not your friend, no matter *what* they tell you. At best, you're their chum.

The internet's an amazing tool. Sometime's you're just like, "I would look upon a boob now," and just like that, a boob! Neat!

Short Round was wrong, there's *always* time for love, Dr. Jones!

Justin boosted

@Quixote171 fresh water sharks are especially lethal; no one has lived to tell about them

Justin boosted

@Quixote171 distant quasar APM 08279+5255 known to carry 140 trillion times as many sharks as Earth

Oops, might've ruined my own night with this one.

Statistically speaking, there's a snake in your house right now.

Also, an infinitely-large field houses an infinite number of snakes, *all* of them venomous.
Look out!

Justin boosted

@Quixote171 look i dont want to encourage this bizarre shark phobia but there are actual recorded events where sharks, generally bull sharks swim really far up rivers and attack people

"But Justin," you say! "You know that sharks are only found in salt-water oceans? Surely the rivers and lakes that you're used to are devoid of those toothy boys!"

"Fool!" I say unto thee! "Just because one cannot *see* them, does not mean they are not there, lurking just beneath the placid surface of your favorite swimming hole! Is this not the basis of every religion on the planet - Blind Faith in what one cannot see but knows to be true?"

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