Sticky toot

allow me to re-introduce myself #into 

Howdy, pard’!

Figured it was time to update my as some of the info was out of date.

My name is John (David) Brown, though i prefer JD, that’s what my friends call me and i’m here to make friends. also to shitpost, complain about capitalism, and incite civil disobedience. An-com. housespouse, retired chef with 2 kids, 1 wife, and adhd. dad to one son, 7, and one trans daughter, 5. gender is fake but my pronouns are he/him/comrade. queer bisexual but i usually just ID as bi because pansexual makes me think of someone being turned on by a frying pan.

trying to figure it out, if i did something problematic its out of ignorance rather than malice, pls feel free to call me on it. tryina be a little better everyday.

i’m the badd dadd of mastodon. i’m a cowboy sun, lewd moon, & moonpunk rising. i bake bread. i like bicycles & the outdoors. i did a toot about bimbofication.

i guess that’s enough for now. see ya pardners all on down the trail, ✌️

Sticky toot

I’m a centrist; I believe both sides have valid ideas, both Communism and Anarchism.

“how can you tell when the bimboification has started?” he asked, lips trembling over the words.
“relax, mr trump, you don’t have to worry about big questions like that anymore,” Robert assured him, “Daddy Mueler will take care of all that for you, baby”

And this extends to the idea that Mao or any other revolutionary should make one "cum", as if communism is about individual gratification.

the tape on amazon packages says they donated $183 million to combat climate change, which is the equivalent of me donating about 12 bucks

i hate it when im on my way to the Big Business meeting about to give my annual presentation on quarterly numbers to the boss and i get cum on the business tie of my business suit!!!

lewdish cum ment. 

freezing my sperm diy style (keeping a huge ice cube of cum in my freezer) then anytime the wife wants to procreate we just chip a little cum off the old cum block and insert it into her coochie

guys at gay pride parade 🤝 guys at straight pride parade
not making women cum

didn’t mythbusters do an episode debunking the link between blindness and jacking off?

Hmmmm, apparently Steamfitters Local 638 has never even heard of Mario OR his "brother" Luigi?

The game is afoot. I'll report back as I hear more

other countries:
hmmmm what should we put on our bank notes. how about this famous dude

Norway:
cod

@esvrld me holding you in a firefighter's carry as you launch egg after egg at the fuzz, like a human bazooka

using my jacked as hell rippling muscle vagina to launch a yoni egg at a cop cruiser at the speed of a bullet

@JohnBrownJr heee hee hooo hooo backflips I do. War crimes I commit

i know y’all aren’t ready to hear this but yoda is a war criminal

90 fucking dollars for pajama bottoms, a hoodie, and a robe. It doesn't even include the crocs.

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