Sticky toot

allow me to re-introduce myself #into 

Howdy, pard’!

Figured it was time to update my as some of the info was out of date.

My name is John (David) Brown, though i prefer JD, that’s what my friends call me and i’m here to make friends. also to shitpost, complain about capitalism, and incite civil disobedience. An-com. housespouse, retired chef with 2 kids, 1 wife, and adhd. dad to one son, 7, and one trans daughter, 5. gender is fake but my pronouns are he/him/comrade. queer bisexual but i usually just ID as bi because pansexual makes me think of someone being turned on by a frying pan.

trying to figure it out, if i did something problematic its out of ignorance rather than malice, pls feel free to call me on it. tryina be a little better everyday.

i’m the badd dadd of mastodon. i’m a cowboy sun, lewd moon, & moonpunk rising. i bake bread. i like bicycles & the outdoors. i did a toot about bimbofication.

i guess that’s enough for now. see ya pardners all on down the trail, ✌️

Sticky toot

I’m a centrist; I believe both sides have valid ideas, both Communism and Anarchism.

other countries:
hmmmm what should we put on our bank notes. how about this famous dude


@esvrld me holding you in a firefighter's carry as you launch egg after egg at the fuzz, like a human bazooka

using my jacked as hell rippling muscle vagina to launch a yoni egg at a cop cruiser at the speed of a bullet

As a serious and masculine American man I refuse to wash my hands unless the soap has pictures of army men on it.

@JohnBrownJr heee hee hooo hooo backflips I do. War crimes I commit

i know y’all aren’t ready to hear this but yoda is a war criminal

90 fucking dollars for pajama bottoms, a hoodie, and a robe. It doesn't even include the crocs.

i hate it when im on my way to the Big Business meeting about to give my annual presentation on quarterly numbers to the boss and i get cum on the business tie of my business suit!!!

@TonyStark As many as I can. 5 confirmed so far. Hopefully I can get at leat a few more.

if thicc nicc is the ship i go down on then so be it i will go down on thicc nicc

frankly, this is, at best, a disgusting ignorance of what food insecurity is

I need all of The Simpsons re-written by Kass tbh

(Lighting a cigarette with one fluid motion and smoking as i walk down the street as my own voiceover kicks in) they asked me “why are you a 19 year old cop?” Clearly they had never seen the 15-19 year old criminals I had during my four years on the force. Some crime scenes were straight out of the tv show Hannibal- which my parents actually didn’t let me watch until I made sergeant

"catboy himbo with big mommy milkers" i skywrite over the unsuspecting town, before my plane explodes in a volley of anti-aircraft fire

wildlife stealing our trash is not acceptable. we worked hard for this, the one thing we produce

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Radical Town

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