[ANARCHIST AND COMMUNIST BAKING SHOW]:
[COMMUNIST]: "Now...when baking the *perfect* cake, you wanna make sure u have all your ducks in a row: all your tools and ingredients ready at your disposal, and complete mastery over your kitchen..."
[ANARCHIST]: "...Although, sometimes, it's ok to improvise--because what actually matters in a cake is how good it tastes; so we wanna focus on the process of building it...*from the ground up*..."
*Each exchange passive aggressive looks, gritting their teeth while smiling*
*5 minutes later*
[COMMUNIST]: *throwing a rolling pin* "U WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD CAKE IF MARX HIMSELF HANDED IT TO U!!"
[ANARCHIST, WEARING A COLLANDER AS A HELMET]: *ducks* "OH, LOOK! THEY'RE USING THE VIOLENCE OF THE STATE AGAINST ME!!!"
[THE AUDIENCE]: *starting to not like either of these people*
*30 minutes later*
[COMMUNIST]: *wearing raspberry jelly like war paint* "ur reactionary views will no longer destroy this cake!!"
[ANARCHIST]: *tied to the kitchen table with cooking twine like a damsel in distress on railroad tracks* "Set me free!!"
[AUDIENCE MEMBER]: "I don't understand...it seems like you both want to make a cake. Why not work tog--"
[COMMUNIST AND ANARCHIST IN UNISON]: "NO ONE WAS TALKING TO U, U FUCKING LIBERAL!!!"
@Ferretsyndicate communist: i'm baking a marble cake. everyone loves it, y'all gonna love it!
anarchist: so yeah, what kinda cake do y'all like? any preferences, or intolerances?
@Ferretsyndicate communist: [in the end the whole audience bakes the cakes the communist wants, everybody lowkey hates it because it's rather boring, but at least it's not as toxic as the capitalist's cake, and everybody gets at least a piece. unless you have celiac, then you're an enemy of the state]
anarchist: *everybody bakes as many cakes as they like, lots of different flavors and ingredients, some people are _rebels_ and bake _bread_ instead!*
@Ferretsyndicate So does that make Stephanie from Lazy Town a Communist?
Y'gotta do the cooking by the book~ 🎶
@Ferretsyndicate its super accurate because the communist kills the anarchist for not believing in their aesthetic
[GREEN]: If we worked together on the access issue we could just buy a damn cake at the store, you yahoos.
[Philosopher in the corner]:
Are all cake the same ?
[Nihilist asshat] :
The cake will be eaten and disappear anyway
[OTHER PHILOSOPHER]: "No, but now there is NO cake."
But the *idea* of the cake is there
@Ferretsyndicate the posadist watching wants to do the rational thing, which is burn down the kitchen so that viewers will donate cakes out of sympathy
@Ferretsyndicate I mean, the consequences of "improvising" in a situation of dire urgency where reactionary forces have you in their crosshairs at all times are pretty considerable, compared to baking a cake
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